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Sam The Sandown Clown

by Michelle Pamela Lyons

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Subject, known as “Sam the Sandown Clown,” appears to be a humanoid figure of approximately seven feet in height. He has no neck to speak of; rather, his head seems to sit directly upon his shoulders. His face features “triangular markings for eyes, a brown square of a nose, and motionless yellow lips,” according to the only known eye-witness report of subject; it is unknown whether these features are actual facial features, or whether they are elements positioned on a mask or helmet of some sort. His cheeks and ears have been described as “paper-white,” while his hair has been identified as both a “fringe of red” falling onto his forehead and “sparse brown” atop his head proper. His arms and legs resemble “wooden slats” more than anything else.

Subject wears a green tunic with a red collar, white trousers, and a pointed, yellow hat. The hat is adorned with a black knob directly on top, and a series of what appear to be wooden antennae at the sides. It also seems to lock into place at the collar of the tunic, suggesting it may be more of a hood than a hat. He wears blue gloves and may carry with him a “black-knobbed microphone with a white flex attached,” or a book or notebook of some kind.

Subject is not necessarily a clown, despite what his moniker may suggest. Given that subject has only been observed once by a pair of small children, the “clown” portion of the description likely arose due to the children having no other frame of reference for the strange-to-their-eyes being’s appearance. The most widely accepted explanation for what subject truly is lives somewhere in the realm of extra-terrestrial — although due to lack of data, this remains conjecture only.

-- Encyclopaedia Of The Impossible (theghostinmymachine.com/2022/05/30/encyclopaedia-of-the-impossible-sam-the-sandown-clown/)

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released August 26, 2023

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